D.W.Winnicott stated ‘It’s a joy to be hidden, but a disaster not to be found’. In early life we rely on experiences of being effectually seen and heard, to gain an emotional and developmental ‘sense of self’. We continue to understand ourselves by interpreting reflections from others. Sometimes these ‘images’ become distorted, confusing our self perception, self awareness and identity. Where is it safe to be our true self and where does the false self become activated as a defence? Activities which offer affective attunement, such as mirroring, may help to rebuild thoughts and feelings that have become lost in the mise-en-abyme.